Introduction
School bullying is so rife that
with the advancement in technology and social networking, so too has bullying
advanced and modernized. It has assumed cyber mediums. Reports of bullying
at school adorn pages of newspapers daily. For example, it was reported a few
months that a school boy from Gauteng stole his mother's key safe from her
handbag went to the safe stole her work firearm while his mother was hanging
washing. Then took it to school and shot dead a bully. As we speak, the boy is
facing murder charges for the death of the bully school mate. At about the same
time that that incident happened, another boy in Durban stabbed a bully to
death. If one has experienced bullying at school, it is easy to sympathize with
the victims who are facing court charges. Often, parents of bullies are not
aware of the ill-treatment meted to others by their child. For instance, the
bereaved grandmother of the deceased boy described him as a respectful boy who
would just greet and go to his bedroom. To her, this was a sign of a "good
boy". However, this seems to suggest that the boy lived a solitary life at
home. It also indicate that there was no real communication between the boy and
the parents and thus, they may not have been aware of what was happening in his
life.
The Real Problem
Often, also many a parents of bullying
victims are not aware of the harassment that their children are experiencing at
school. Victims may keep quiet for fear of severe repercussions from the
bullies or for fear of being regarded as cowards. For many years ago, while I
was in standard four, I was a victim of bullying by two boys from another
school. They each slapped me in the face one after the other. The first boy
alleged that I have said that I could beat him. Truthfully, I was scared of
that boy, having fought some time back, but I had not said what I allegedly
said about him. Then, the other boy realizing what had taken place alleged the
same about himself. He thereafter slapped me hard on the face. Unfortunately,
for him I was not scared of him and at that moment I was very angry after the
humiliation at the hands of the other boy. Thus I fought him tooth and nail. I
overcame him. He then bit me in the chest and then I retaliated by biting him
in the cheek.
Among
spectators were other boys from his family kraal. They were bitter that he was
defeated. One of them gave him an okapi knife to stab me. He ran after me but I
picked up a stone. He therefore retreated. However, he said to "we will
see how you will go to school tomorrow!" He was my neighbour and his
homestead was on my way to school. I knew those were no empty threats. At the
time I was still a herd boy. After having my food, I went to the veld to
look after my father's cattle without reporting the incident to my
grandmother. My father's hired herd-boy noticed that something was wrong.
After a few questions from him, I related the whole story to him. My
grandmother then went to the second bully's home and coincidentally, his
guardian was his grandmother. The boy was then given tongue-lashing by his
grandmother. Then I was rescued by my grandmother.
My
experience goes to show how victims of bullying often deal with being bullied.
They try to keep it to themselves, which is not the best way to deal with
bullying. It also shows that speaking out is the best way to defeat school
bullying or bullying in general. However, it shows that parents from both sides
have an important role to play in fighting against bullying. Thus my advice to
victims is never to try deal with the problem on your own. Tell your parents
about it, they are experienced. They will know how best to deal with the
situation.
Conclusion
In conclusion, to parents: be
observant of your child behaviour daily when they are from school - if they are
not bullied, they may be bullies. Do not be quick to deny that your child is a
bully. Take those allegations serious. On the other hand, if your child is a
victim, do not delay. Act immediately. Normally, if your child is exceptional
at school (like myself back then) he will be loved by teachers. Likely, he will
be bullied by envious older school mates. In my case, I suffered many other
incidents of bullying from jealous schoolmates, especially, male
counterparts.
Share your comments and experiences
on bullying.
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